Hey guys!
The time has finally come to compile my list of the worst movies I saw in 2016. I hope y'all liked my Top 10 Best Movies list but now's where the fun starts. Let's start taking a dump on the year's tragic offerings.
2016 was perhaps an even worse year for bad movies than 2015 as I even had to include a dishonourable mentions section because I couldn't fit all the crap films of the year into 10 spots.
By the grace of an unearthly power, I managed to avoid some absolute stinkers like Nine Lives, Fifty Shades of Black, Gods of Egypt and Collateral Beauty, just to name a few. Hence, this list, like my Top 10 Best Movies list, only contains films I've seen over the course of the past year and are arranged in the order of how much I didn't like them.
As such, their ratings that I gave them in my reviews do not mean anything as this is purely based on how I feel towards these steaming turds that I sadly had to sit through.
Now, without further ado, here are my worst films of 2016, starting with my dishonourable mentions.
Talk about a cheap and disposable action movie that felt more at home in the 90's than in today's market.
London Has Fallen was such a blatant attempt at banking on the success of 2013's Olympus Has Fallen which was a respectable effort which I felt didn't deserve it's below-average ratings.
London Has Fallen just felt like a film featuring a returning cast who were contractually-obliged to reprise their roles, and it just didn't feel the same - probably due in most part to a new director being hired for it.
If Antoine Fuqua had returned to direct this, it might have been a lot better than it was. But the fact is that he didn't, and he went on to make The Magnificent Seven which was miles better than this.
The CGI in it was dreadful as well.
In a list featuring many films that I consider as pointless and "didn't need to get made", it's really hard to distinguish one lazy effort from another.
Independence Day: Resurgence was just a pathetic rehash of the original film minus what made the original movie work - Will Smith.
Along with that, we have the pathetically obvious attempts at creating a new movie universe and the setting up of a sequel which I sincerely hope doesn't get made considering how the film didn't do particularly well at the worldwide box office.
It was forgettable, it was unnecessary, and it just reeks of creative laziness and a terribly unethical desire for more money made from ticket sales.
This probably comes at no surprise to any of my friends or followers of this blog. All year long, I've been trashing this load of crap and I've even used it as a comparing tool for any other film that came remotely close to being as crap as this.
My goodness, I hated Ghostbusters. It is the most blatant, pathetic, lazy, stupid, uninspired, rubbish, terrible, horrid waste of two hours of my life.
The issues I had with this movie are endless even today, half a year after this sorry excuse of a movie was released.
For one, it was a reboot that was completely unnecessary. I mean, think about it. Did any movie goer want a new ghost-exterminating movie? No.
If they had more respect with the reboot of a Hollywood classic, I may not have minded as much. But what they did was cast four questionable actresses and Chris Hemsworth in a role so degrading to every male on planet Earth. Sure, I get that characters can be stupid but making him not even realise that his spectacles had no lenses in them?? Or answering a phone from the wrong end of the receiver?? Like come on man.
I hated the chemistry between the four female protagonists because there wasn't any. Actresses like Kristen Wiig and Kate McKinnon I like and I appreciated their efforts in the movie, but the painfully unfunny Melissa McCarthy (who just keeps popping up in so many movies nowadays to a reception of eye rolls rather than applause) and the stereotypical black character played by Leslie Jones just made everything unbearable.
Furthermore, no mention was given to the existence of the original movie and its characters, and yet they still had the cheek to use the original theme song which is such a classic.
This is a prime example of a reboot done horribly and without any respect given to the subject matter at all. Even the cameos given to some of the original cast members were so weird. I mean, Bill Murray in a speaking role as a scientist questioning the need for the Ghostbusters before meeting his very abrupt death?? No wonder Rick Moranis refused to return in a cameo role considering how pathetic the parts were.
Also, don't even get me started on the supposed feminist aspect of the film. It's bullshit. I've already gone in-depth with my views in my entry for Jack Reacher: Never Go Back so yeah there you have it.
What a sad, sad film Ghostbusters was.
And there you have it, folks, my worst movies of 2016. I hope you enjoyed reading what I had to say about these steaming turds and I do apologise if you liked some of the movies I included on this list.
It's always a joy to write about the year's best and worst moments and I really hope you agreed with them!
The time has finally come to compile my list of the worst movies I saw in 2016. I hope y'all liked my Top 10 Best Movies list but now's where the fun starts. Let's start taking a dump on the year's tragic offerings.
2016 was perhaps an even worse year for bad movies than 2015 as I even had to include a dishonourable mentions section because I couldn't fit all the crap films of the year into 10 spots.
By the grace of an unearthly power, I managed to avoid some absolute stinkers like Nine Lives, Fifty Shades of Black, Gods of Egypt and Collateral Beauty, just to name a few. Hence, this list, like my Top 10 Best Movies list, only contains films I've seen over the course of the past year and are arranged in the order of how much I didn't like them.
As such, their ratings that I gave them in my reviews do not mean anything as this is purely based on how I feel towards these steaming turds that I sadly had to sit through.
Now, without further ado, here are my worst films of 2016, starting with my dishonourable mentions.
Dishonourable Mentions
London Has Fallen
Talk about a cheap and disposable action movie that felt more at home in the 90's than in today's market.
London Has Fallen was such a blatant attempt at banking on the success of 2013's Olympus Has Fallen which was a respectable effort which I felt didn't deserve it's below-average ratings.
London Has Fallen just felt like a film featuring a returning cast who were contractually-obliged to reprise their roles, and it just didn't feel the same - probably due in most part to a new director being hired for it.
If Antoine Fuqua had returned to direct this, it might have been a lot better than it was. But the fact is that he didn't, and he went on to make The Magnificent Seven which was miles better than this.
The CGI in it was dreadful as well.
Sausage Party
I am someone who enjoys inappropriate and crude humour. If you ask any one of my close friends, they know that I'm someone who loves to joke about the most sensitive things in the world.
So for me to not enjoy to excessive and terribly uncomfortable humour in Sausage Party really shows how lowly I regarded this film.
Animation-wise, it's not bad at all. It's just that it felt more like a forgettable stoner comedy better suited for a live action movie than an animated film.
The concept is great and all but it just feels so typical of the stereotypical American stoner comedy filled with stupid fart and sex jokes which frankly are so unfunny.
Getting quite sick of Seth Rogen as well.
So for me to not enjoy to excessive and terribly uncomfortable humour in Sausage Party really shows how lowly I regarded this film.
Animation-wise, it's not bad at all. It's just that it felt more like a forgettable stoner comedy better suited for a live action movie than an animated film.
The concept is great and all but it just feels so typical of the stereotypical American stoner comedy filled with stupid fart and sex jokes which frankly are so unfunny.
Getting quite sick of Seth Rogen as well.
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Now before all you Potterheads slaughter me, I would like to point out that I for one am not a person who is able to fully appreciate such intricate and complicated lore in movies.
There is a reason why I've never really taken to the Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings films, simply because everything seems so complicated to me.
With Fantastic Beasts, I gave it a chance at first but I completely zoned out about 15 minutes in out of sheer boredom. I kind of just wanted the movie to get going but J.K. Rowling's first-ever screenplay just kept beating around the bush too much.
It really showed that it was her first-ever screenplay as well, because the excessive details would be more welcome in a book than in a film.
I was asleep for practically three-quarters of the movie and the lack of desire in me to rewatch it on a day where I felt less tired indicated to me that maybe these fantasy films with such complex lore just aren't my thing.
It was such a bore.
There is a reason why I've never really taken to the Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings films, simply because everything seems so complicated to me.
With Fantastic Beasts, I gave it a chance at first but I completely zoned out about 15 minutes in out of sheer boredom. I kind of just wanted the movie to get going but J.K. Rowling's first-ever screenplay just kept beating around the bush too much.
It really showed that it was her first-ever screenplay as well, because the excessive details would be more welcome in a book than in a film.
I was asleep for practically three-quarters of the movie and the lack of desire in me to rewatch it on a day where I felt less tired indicated to me that maybe these fantasy films with such complex lore just aren't my thing.
It was such a bore.
And now, here are 10 of the very worst 2016 had to offer.
10. Criminal
Starting the list off at #10 is the movie that managed to waste the most incredible cast ever in what turned out to be one heck of a lacklustre effort.
Criminal had a great concept but went way too overboard with its delivery and execution. If they had kept the plot simple and grounded, it might have made for a more compelling thriller. What we got in the end was a messy and disposable effort which nobody saw and those who did didn't really remember.
To give you an idea of the cast director Ariel Vromen had at his disposal, it included the likes of Kevin Costner, Gary Oldman, Tommy Lee Jones, Ryan Reynolds and the hugely talented Gal Gadot. Interestingly, all of these actors have/had roles in Superhero films.
If only they could have added some of that superhero magic into this movie.
Criminal had a great concept but went way too overboard with its delivery and execution. If they had kept the plot simple and grounded, it might have made for a more compelling thriller. What we got in the end was a messy and disposable effort which nobody saw and those who did didn't really remember.
To give you an idea of the cast director Ariel Vromen had at his disposal, it included the likes of Kevin Costner, Gary Oldman, Tommy Lee Jones, Ryan Reynolds and the hugely talented Gal Gadot. Interestingly, all of these actors have/had roles in Superhero films.
If only they could have added some of that superhero magic into this movie.
9. Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children
Another case of an interesting concept executed poorly here in Miss Peregrine's blah blah blah.
I thought the film looked pretty good visually (not surprising considering how it's directed by Tim Burton, a director known for his visuals) but in many instances, the CGI was really poor.
On top of that, there was the really excessive and over-the-top performance from Samuel L. Jackson as the main antagonist that I felt was really too much.
On the other end of the spectrum, there was the most wooden performance I've ever seen in film since Kristen Stewart in every Twilight movie that I never bothered to watch. That 'honour' goes to Asa Butterfield as Jake, my gosh he was poor.
I heard the adaptation wasn't completely accurate to the source material as well, which is disappointing considering how it had to do with a swap in the abilities of two characters which is so uncalled for.
I thought the film looked pretty good visually (not surprising considering how it's directed by Tim Burton, a director known for his visuals) but in many instances, the CGI was really poor.
On top of that, there was the really excessive and over-the-top performance from Samuel L. Jackson as the main antagonist that I felt was really too much.
On the other end of the spectrum, there was the most wooden performance I've ever seen in film since Kristen Stewart in every Twilight movie that I never bothered to watch. That 'honour' goes to Asa Butterfield as Jake, my gosh he was poor.
I heard the adaptation wasn't completely accurate to the source material as well, which is disappointing considering how it had to do with a swap in the abilities of two characters which is so uncalled for.
8. Independence Day: Resurgence
In a list featuring many films that I consider as pointless and "didn't need to get made", it's really hard to distinguish one lazy effort from another.
Independence Day: Resurgence was just a pathetic rehash of the original film minus what made the original movie work - Will Smith.
Along with that, we have the pathetically obvious attempts at creating a new movie universe and the setting up of a sequel which I sincerely hope doesn't get made considering how the film didn't do particularly well at the worldwide box office.
It was forgettable, it was unnecessary, and it just reeks of creative laziness and a terribly unethical desire for more money made from ticket sales.
7. Elvis & Nixon
Along with its unnecessary production, Elvis & Nixon was a classic case of casting gone horribly wrong.
Kevin Spacey is great as Nixon, that was good. What irked me to no end was the casting of Michael Shannon as Elvis Presley.
I honestly think Eddie Murphy would have made a better Elvis than Shannon, AND HE'S BLACK!
Sure, Shannon is a good actor and all but the dude resembles a zombie from L4D2 than the King of Rock & Roll.
He didn't do Elvis' voice very well either.
If they really wanted to have an authentic and accurate portrayal of Elvis, they should really go for Chris Pratt. I think he'd be perfect as Elvis.
Perhaps when they decide on making a more serious biopic of Elvis instead of a fictional story about some secret service Elvis was helping out with. It's so far-fetched that it's funny.
Kevin Spacey is great as Nixon, that was good. What irked me to no end was the casting of Michael Shannon as Elvis Presley.
I honestly think Eddie Murphy would have made a better Elvis than Shannon, AND HE'S BLACK!
Sure, Shannon is a good actor and all but the dude resembles a zombie from L4D2 than the King of Rock & Roll.
He didn't do Elvis' voice very well either.
If they really wanted to have an authentic and accurate portrayal of Elvis, they should really go for Chris Pratt. I think he'd be perfect as Elvis.
Perhaps when they decide on making a more serious biopic of Elvis instead of a fictional story about some secret service Elvis was helping out with. It's so far-fetched that it's funny.
6. Now You See Me 2
Now this was a movie that made sense as a sequel.
After the success of the first film and how movie goers loved it, I could totally root for a sequel because I was one of those who had a blast with the original.
If only they could have scrapped the bloody stupid CGI magic bits for some proper, practical stunts and magic tricks.
Some tricks felt so ridiculously over-the-top like the bloody stupid card throwing scene within that microchip facility. That scene completely took me out of the movie plainly because of its ridiculousness.
There was also that stupid gravity-defying rainfall and the Jesse Eisenberg-falls-down-and-disappears-into-his-coat nonsense which just made me go "DAFUQ??" rather than "Ooooooo".
How hard is it to make a solid sequel? Really. Why can't filmmakers understand that bigger and more extreme doesn't equate to it being better?
Just keep things simple and go with the tried and tested - go for some of what made the first film such a success and build on it rather than ruin everything.
After the success of the first film and how movie goers loved it, I could totally root for a sequel because I was one of those who had a blast with the original.
If only they could have scrapped the bloody stupid CGI magic bits for some proper, practical stunts and magic tricks.
Some tricks felt so ridiculously over-the-top like the bloody stupid card throwing scene within that microchip facility. That scene completely took me out of the movie plainly because of its ridiculousness.
There was also that stupid gravity-defying rainfall and the Jesse Eisenberg-falls-down-and-disappears-into-his-coat nonsense which just made me go "DAFUQ??" rather than "Ooooooo".
How hard is it to make a solid sequel? Really. Why can't filmmakers understand that bigger and more extreme doesn't equate to it being better?
Just keep things simple and go with the tried and tested - go for some of what made the first film such a success and build on it rather than ruin everything.
5. Jack Reacher: Never Go Back
Unnecessary sequel.
Like the Now You See Me films, the first one was really good. This nonsensical sequel, however, was such a sad load of bull featuring a ragged and weary-looking Tom Cruise who didn't bother buffing up for the role like he normally does for good stuff like the Mission: Impossible movies.
This one was boring, predictable and featured some of the worst father-daughter character dynamics I've ever seen.
On top of that, there's the stupid bitchiness of Cobie Smulder's character who always tries to get one-up on Tom Cruise because of a supposed misogynistic or sexist comment.
I understand that the feminist movement is at an all-time high now thanks to the buffoon who is now the President of the United States, and I am completely for the movement because I believe in equality.
What I don't like is how these movements are shown or implied in the media produced during this era.
It's so deliberate and unnecessary that it makes the characters who have these unfortunate lines to deliver so damn annoying.
Apart from that bit, the movie is just a forgettable and disposable action movie that truly missed its original director Christopher McQuarrie.
McQuarrie brought so much dynamism and flair to the original Jack Reacher and made that film a solid action movie that had truly memorable action sequences.
The sequel is just so very bland.
Like the Now You See Me films, the first one was really good. This nonsensical sequel, however, was such a sad load of bull featuring a ragged and weary-looking Tom Cruise who didn't bother buffing up for the role like he normally does for good stuff like the Mission: Impossible movies.
This one was boring, predictable and featured some of the worst father-daughter character dynamics I've ever seen.
On top of that, there's the stupid bitchiness of Cobie Smulder's character who always tries to get one-up on Tom Cruise because of a supposed misogynistic or sexist comment.
I understand that the feminist movement is at an all-time high now thanks to the buffoon who is now the President of the United States, and I am completely for the movement because I believe in equality.
What I don't like is how these movements are shown or implied in the media produced during this era.
It's so deliberate and unnecessary that it makes the characters who have these unfortunate lines to deliver so damn annoying.
Apart from that bit, the movie is just a forgettable and disposable action movie that truly missed its original director Christopher McQuarrie.
McQuarrie brought so much dynamism and flair to the original Jack Reacher and made that film a solid action movie that had truly memorable action sequences.
The sequel is just so very bland.
4. Warcraft: The Beginning
Video game movies never had a stellar track record.
This one was just... Sigh.
To all filmmakers in the world, both current and budding, making a film with stunning visuals does not make the movie automatically good. Every movie needs so much more than just good CGI and cinematography.
Warcraft was sloppy, confusing and it seemed to jam-pack too much content and story into one movie. As the film's title suggests, it's only "The Beginning" and so why couldn't they just take it easy with the storytelling.
Instead, what we got was a movie with too many characters who didn't have enough screentime or character development to make movie goers even care about them and whether they lived or died.
In total honesty, I wished every character would just die so that no more of these movies would get made.
This one was just... Sigh.
To all filmmakers in the world, both current and budding, making a film with stunning visuals does not make the movie automatically good. Every movie needs so much more than just good CGI and cinematography.
Warcraft was sloppy, confusing and it seemed to jam-pack too much content and story into one movie. As the film's title suggests, it's only "The Beginning" and so why couldn't they just take it easy with the storytelling.
Instead, what we got was a movie with too many characters who didn't have enough screentime or character development to make movie goers even care about them and whether they lived or died.
In total honesty, I wished every character would just die so that no more of these movies would get made.
3. The Divergent Series: Allegiant
Let me just point out that the only thing I can remember from this movie is how they cast comedic actor Jeff Daniels (of Dumb and Dumber fame) in a major villainous role. It was bloody hilarious.
Perhaps this movie showed the world that Young Adult dystopian book-to-movie adaptations are finally at the end of their trendy phase (THANK THE HEAVENS) considering how no other YA movies were released last year apart from the forgettable Chloë Grace-Moretz effort, The 5th Wave.
Think about it though. Of the millions of dystopian YA movies made, how many were actually good? Only one or two to be frank. It's a cinematic phase which I am so glad to see phase out of popularity.
Considering how the 'grand finale' of the series was given a major budget cut following the dismal box office performance of Allegiant, turning the final film into a direct-to-television movie instead of a theatrical one, that's probably enough of an indicator as to what a tragedy the movie was.
It's sad because I liked the characters played by Shailene Woodley and Theo James. I thought they worked really well together and made these movies bearable despite both Insurgent and Allegiant making my Top 10 Worst lists two years in a row.
Perhaps this movie showed the world that Young Adult dystopian book-to-movie adaptations are finally at the end of their trendy phase (THANK THE HEAVENS) considering how no other YA movies were released last year apart from the forgettable Chloë Grace-Moretz effort, The 5th Wave.
Think about it though. Of the millions of dystopian YA movies made, how many were actually good? Only one or two to be frank. It's a cinematic phase which I am so glad to see phase out of popularity.
Considering how the 'grand finale' of the series was given a major budget cut following the dismal box office performance of Allegiant, turning the final film into a direct-to-television movie instead of a theatrical one, that's probably enough of an indicator as to what a tragedy the movie was.
It's sad because I liked the characters played by Shailene Woodley and Theo James. I thought they worked really well together and made these movies bearable despite both Insurgent and Allegiant making my Top 10 Worst lists two years in a row.
2. Assassin's Creed
Here's another example of a movie so focused on visuals that it completely disregards the need for depth or even a certain something called QUALITY.
My goodness, was Assassin's Creed poor. What makes it even worse is that star Michael Fassbender has producing credits on the film. Like, why would you put your name there for a film that frankly wasn't guaranteed of success at all despite Fassbender's star power.
Unless the only reason why he did this movie was because he's a fan of the games, or that he was forced to at gunpoint. Either way, I just can't seem to comprehend how such an established actor managed to take up such a crap role.
Joining him in this monstrosity are the very established duo of Marion Cotillard and Jeremy Irons, both of whom I also can't understand why they took up these roles.
The plot had more holes in it than a colander, the action sequences were boring and uninspired, and I even managed to fall asleep during it. Only twice last year did I fall asleep during a movie, and both of those movies made this list.
Dismal, and come on Michael Fassbender. Just be the next James Bond already.
And now, for the WORST film I saw in 2016... It is of course, the horrid and pathetic piece of crap - the one, the only...
My goodness, was Assassin's Creed poor. What makes it even worse is that star Michael Fassbender has producing credits on the film. Like, why would you put your name there for a film that frankly wasn't guaranteed of success at all despite Fassbender's star power.
Unless the only reason why he did this movie was because he's a fan of the games, or that he was forced to at gunpoint. Either way, I just can't seem to comprehend how such an established actor managed to take up such a crap role.
Joining him in this monstrosity are the very established duo of Marion Cotillard and Jeremy Irons, both of whom I also can't understand why they took up these roles.
The plot had more holes in it than a colander, the action sequences were boring and uninspired, and I even managed to fall asleep during it. Only twice last year did I fall asleep during a movie, and both of those movies made this list.
Dismal, and come on Michael Fassbender. Just be the next James Bond already.
And now, for the WORST film I saw in 2016... It is of course, the horrid and pathetic piece of crap - the one, the only...
1. Ghostbusters
This probably comes at no surprise to any of my friends or followers of this blog. All year long, I've been trashing this load of crap and I've even used it as a comparing tool for any other film that came remotely close to being as crap as this.
My goodness, I hated Ghostbusters. It is the most blatant, pathetic, lazy, stupid, uninspired, rubbish, terrible, horrid waste of two hours of my life.
The issues I had with this movie are endless even today, half a year after this sorry excuse of a movie was released.
For one, it was a reboot that was completely unnecessary. I mean, think about it. Did any movie goer want a new ghost-exterminating movie? No.
If they had more respect with the reboot of a Hollywood classic, I may not have minded as much. But what they did was cast four questionable actresses and Chris Hemsworth in a role so degrading to every male on planet Earth. Sure, I get that characters can be stupid but making him not even realise that his spectacles had no lenses in them?? Or answering a phone from the wrong end of the receiver?? Like come on man.
I hated the chemistry between the four female protagonists because there wasn't any. Actresses like Kristen Wiig and Kate McKinnon I like and I appreciated their efforts in the movie, but the painfully unfunny Melissa McCarthy (who just keeps popping up in so many movies nowadays to a reception of eye rolls rather than applause) and the stereotypical black character played by Leslie Jones just made everything unbearable.
Furthermore, no mention was given to the existence of the original movie and its characters, and yet they still had the cheek to use the original theme song which is such a classic.
This is a prime example of a reboot done horribly and without any respect given to the subject matter at all. Even the cameos given to some of the original cast members were so weird. I mean, Bill Murray in a speaking role as a scientist questioning the need for the Ghostbusters before meeting his very abrupt death?? No wonder Rick Moranis refused to return in a cameo role considering how pathetic the parts were.
Also, don't even get me started on the supposed feminist aspect of the film. It's bullshit. I've already gone in-depth with my views in my entry for Jack Reacher: Never Go Back so yeah there you have it.
What a sad, sad film Ghostbusters was.
And there you have it, folks, my worst movies of 2016. I hope you enjoyed reading what I had to say about these steaming turds and I do apologise if you liked some of the movies I included on this list.
It's always a joy to write about the year's best and worst moments and I really hope you agreed with them!
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